I guess a new semester is a new beginning-I love new beginnings. And seeing as I have laid on the couch for the last 24 days being sick for at least half of them, I welcome a re-start on this year. Having obligation to get out of the house and purpose again excites me as I do have a lot of goals and things I want to do, but at the same point I'm nervous I'll maintain this mediocrity (if it's even that anymore).
I decided that Monday I will weigh myself as nothing I've tried to avoid weighing or to weigh less as been working. I can't decide if I will weigh every day or every other, but I am so sick of hating myself and then doing okay for a few days and seeing progress, only to binge and not weigh after that and then start the cycle of self-hate and terror of the scale. I just need to take a deep breath and accept that I just need to do what the person I want to be has to.
I know everyone has a different road to something better, but I will share this anyway. I have not weighed myself since like 2011, and it is THE BEST decision I have ever made.
ReplyDeleteEven mostly-recovered, I still refuse to weigh myself. All my doctors know as well--they weigh me only when my back is to the scale. I don't want to know. Before it was because I was afraid of the number. Refusing to look at it took away its power over me.
Now I honestly just don't give a shit.
And so can you. Because that number means absolutely nothing.