2/11/15

I went to see Bush in St.Paul last night and it was a really good night. I've liked them since I was 16 or 17, so it was cool to hear some of those songs that I've loved for so many years live. Two of our friends came with Jake and I, so we did dinner and then went. I drank a lot but didn't black out and actually remember the concert so that's impressive. One of the friends went grocery shopping prior to leaving town and bought drunk snacks, but I bought semi-healthy stuff and had light dill dip with cauliflower and pop chips. Not terrible, but I drank so much that had to been a terrible amount of calories.

That's my biggest issue, is my drinking. When I was on my V-ball diet last year (which I'm supposed to be on right now, but I am currently just not tracking and that's inexcusable) I had to have a net amount of under 1,000. That seems so reasonable to me. I would try to eat ~500 and leave the other 500 for vodka. 5 shots doesn't get me so drunk anymore. Maybe it will now since I have been sick so haven't been drinking to the extent I normally do. But that plan is so reasonable- if I want more calories, I just need to work out. I am committing to tracking my calories again starting tomorrow. So far I've had a pretty decent day, I'd estimate ~450-500, but I haven't decided if I'm drinking tonight (I probably am) but I am limiting myself to only 5 shots of vodka.

I have so many events coming up that I want to look good for. Pictures are going to be taken and I don't want to hate myself. The problem is I've been really sick again this last week. I went to campus health Monday and I was told I have a virus and an ear infection. This is seriously a huge part of the problem. I can't work out when I can barely breathe. I went to derby practice Saturday and was off skates, meaning the most useful thing I did was penalty box time. I just know I'm not going to lose significant weight if I'm not working out. I'm hoping to go to the gym tomorrow. I think I'll make myself go even if I'm not ready to do cardio yet. I'll just walk on the treadmill and do weights.

But so much to look forward to and get thin for:
-Spring break trip to Chicago with Jake and our two good friends (J and G)
-Viennese Ball
-Neutral Milk Hotel/Away bout for derby weekend

I don't want to hate myself during these things-I want to have fun and not be body checking and hating pictures being taken. The spring break trip is in ~6 weeks. That's plenty of time to get started and at least make some progress. I'm going to get a countdown app for motivation.

That's about all right now I guess. I've got a lot to work on between school and my personal life. I do feel pretty motivated, though.